Hello! My name is Rebekah and I am a Stay-at-home Wife and Mom. I have a beautiful 8 month old daughter. She likes to crawl, climb, and chew on everything! I like to read, write, and do craft projects.
I was born in 1991, I was homeschooled till high school, I graduated from my local College with my Associates of Art, and I married in the Summer of 2012 (my favorite season). Each season, each day, of my life has been a blessing and an adventure from my Lord in heaven!
I had always heard the saying, “Humans are not perfect”, and I knew that we were all sinners saved by Grace. I knew that God wasn’t expecting me to be perfect but rather to submit myself to him and he would lead me to all perfection. I KNEW the truth in my head (head knowledge) but my feelings in my heart didn’t know (heart knowledge). Martin Luther, who started the Protestant Reformation, also had this problem. He knew the right words to say but he didn’t have the “heart knowledge”. God helped him, God helped me, and God will help you.
I spent two years growing up with my grandparents. They emotional beat me down by telling me that I was “bothersome” to them and in their way. I was an “unwelcome” guest despite the fact that they had invited my brother and I there. They would tell me how ugly I looked in almost every outfit I wore, they only allowed my brother and I one shower per week, and they read our incoming and outgoing mail. It was emotionally scaring. It was abuse.
Luckily, my father was able to get my brother and I out of there. I remember being so scared because they had poisoned my mind by telling me that my father would hate me. I don’t know why I listened. I knew my father loved me and that I was “his little girl”, but I listened.
So often in life and in our Christian walks with Christ, we KNOW (head knowledge) the truth but we don’t listen to it. The problem is our hearts don’t know (heart knowledge).
“Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.” Prov. 4:23
For the longest time, I didn’t know how to “keep” my heart. I listened to the lies of my grandparents (which were really lies of Satan) that I was useless and in the way. I listened to Satan when he told me my sins were too many. My heart too black for God to love me or even see me. My head knew the truth. My head knew that I was not useless or in the way. My head knew that I was loved by God. But my heart was running wild and I was listening and obeying it.
When I got back from my grandparents, I was emotionally a wreck. I believed things about myself and my father that were lies. I had to confront the lies and replace them with truth. But some of the lies I didn’t even know existed. God had to help me to see them before I was able to confront them.
I talked to my Dad and told him my fears. I told him about what the Grandparents had said. I opened my heart to him and told him everything. He soothed my heart and told me that he loved me. He told me he forgave me and he released me from the lies they had told me about my father.
The lies about my father were easy to confront because I just had to talk to my Dad. The lies about me took more time to even see. I had believed them and taken them to my heart as truth. It took me years to see and confront all the lies I had believed about myself. Through books, his word, and people in my life God showed me that I was lying to myself. That I was telling myself how worthless I was, that though God was forgiving me for my sins; I wasn’t forgiving myself. I slowly re-learned my personal worth but still Satan used the lie that I wasn’t clean inside. He told me how ugly I was inside. He told me God didn’t love me because of my sin (even though I repented daily of my sin). I believed Satan.
Then one day, I cried out to God. I asked him to love me and forgive me. I begged him for love. I asked him if he could love, “such a worm as I”. Then in misery, I opened my Bible, sure of the answer and sad of it. I found myself in Song of Solomon and to this day, I don’t know how I got there but I read:
“Thy two breasts are like two young roes
that are twins, which fee among the lilies.
Until the day break, and the shadows flee away,
I will get me to the mountain of myrrh,
And to the hill of frankincense.
Thou art all fair, my love; there is no
Spot in thee.
Come with me…”
Song of Solomon 4:5-8
God was speaking to me, “there is no spot in thee”. He was telling me that I was clean and he didn’t see my sin. He was telling me that I was “fair” (i.e. beautiful) and he was asking me to come with him: to journey through life, hand in hand. He was telling me that he wanted me. I cried. I cried a fountain of tears and my heart took a step toward healing.
In the years since that wonderful first step, God has taken me down several more steps of healing, forgiving, and growing again. He has taught me how to “keep” my heart. He taught me that you have to first identify the lie of Satan. He taught me, through personal experience, how difficult “finding the lie” can be. But, once the lie is found, then you have to rebuke the lie and replace it with truth. I have found that Satan likes to use the same lies because I usually fall easily for them. So, I have taken to memorizing verses and repeating them to myself when Satan comes around. But, if don’t yet have a verse then you can simply say to yourself, “I rebuke you Satan! That’s a lie! God does love me” or if he attacks you by telling you that you are alone then tell him you are not alone because God is with you.
“Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you” James 4:7
We don’t have to tell ourselves lies. But somehow Satan tricks us all into believing lies about ourselves. “You are too ugly (physically or spiritually)”, “You can’t speak in front of crowds because you are not that type of person”, “You can’t lead a youth group or write a Christian blog; you aren’t spiritual enough”, “You can’t serve Christ, you are a sinner”, “You can’t read the entire Bible that would take too long and you want to do A,B,C first”, etc. The lies go on and on but let me tell you that Satan is wrong! We can do any and all of these things. We can have an impact, because we are children of God (John 1:12). We are not fighting this battle against Satan’s lies ALONE. We are fighting with our father in heaven. He has clothed us in his armor and given us only one weapon because it is the only weapon we need: his word. He told us in his word:
“I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” Philippians 4:13
“But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ…for with God nothing shall be impossible” Rom. 13:14 & Luke 1:37
“Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.” Ephesians 6:11
God is with you. He has not forsaken you. He cares about you.
“For if our heart condemn us, God is greater than our heart, and knoweth all things” I John 3:20
“Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.” I Peter 5:7
The next time Satan comes around with his lies about you, resist him. Rebuke the lies he tries to give you and repeat the truth. Repeat the truth out loud if that is what helps you! Repeat the scripture verse that helps, and send Satan and his lies packing!