How Could God Give Me a Child Like This

In the early days of my son’s diagnosis with mild autism, the journey of unknowns began. I had so many questions with very little answers in return. One question I silently asked God as tears became a daily reminder of my pain, “How could you have given me a child like this?” I felt so alone and so scared of what the future holds for him.

I desperately wanted to help this child that I called – my son. It seemed like he was in a different world and I tried so hard to enter into his mysterious realm of existence. Thankfully, doors began to open as therapists and social workers entered into our lives and through much prayer, progress came.

I never realized how bad my little boy really struggled until one day when I sat on the opposite side of the glass and watched the therapist ask, “Ok, now can you show me where the purse goes?” as she held up a little boy and a little girl picture. This little boy looked so confused. She continued, “Ok, how about you show me where you would place the baseball cap.” This little boy, my son, looked even more confused.

I don’t understand how children just wake up one day and know the difference between a little boy and a little girl, but they just seem to know. Not my son!  He had to be taught the simplest things in life so many tears continued to come, but soon these tears became more tears of joy instead of sadness because progress came too. It took many years of dedication to see the progress, but in the midst, we would celebrate the simplest of achievements and accomplishments, taking very little for granted.

Today, my son is entering the teenage years and I never knew God would use a child called special to teach me so many lessons in life like judging less, forgiving more, accepting all, having courage, being enthusiastic in all things, being less materialistic, practicing self-control, the gift of honesty, being mindful, and respecting others. And most of all, doing everything in love.
I realize today, my eyes became open to see the majesty and wonder in the life of a child with autism when I celebrated alongside my son and together we claimed, “I praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made, your works are wonderful, I know that full well ”…Psalm 139:14

Just recently I heard the Spirit ask me, “How could I have not blessed you with a child like this?” Jesus was giving me a gift- a son far greater than I could have ever dreamed of having.

Just like God giving us a gift when He sent his one and only son, Jesus, to die on a cross to prove his perfect love for us all. It is a free gift that any of us can receive when we ask him into our hearts.

I don’t want to miss the priceless moments like my son saying at a young age: “Mommy, I like this watermelon, but I don’t care for these little raisins inside of it.”

Is Jesus whispering to you today, “How could I have not given you a gift like this?”

About the Author

You can follow Mary D. Wasson on Facebook at Potter’s Hand Poetry or her blog which offers inspiration in all walks of life: Mom 2 My Kids Blog