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Guest Post_Carla
Okay, I said it.  And I think I mean it.  I really don’t know who God is or why He does what He does at times.  Is it wrong to admit that?
Those words, “I don’t know God,” were said to me by a dear friend as I wrestled with many doubts and why questions.  She has been a big sister, spiritual cheerleader and is one of the most godly women I know.  And as we stood in my kitchen, with tears streaming down our faces, she mouthed the words of my heart.  She gave utterance to all the pent up emotions that were rising to the surface despite my attempts to swallow them down.
It was exactly what I felt although I was afraid to say it.  And she knew it.  I had screamed in it my car, alone and so very angry, confused and disappointed:
Where are you God?  What are doing?  You said you would fight my battles!  How could this be your will?  Why do I continually have to see those I love suffer?  Do you hear my prayers?   Can I really claim your promises?  Can I trust you?  I just don’t understand…
However, she didn’t stop there.  There was more…
“Sometimes I don’t know God…BUT I DO KNOW JESUS.  And I know that Jesus loves me, died for me, walks with me and is coming for me again.   That is what I cling to when I feel like I don’t know God or understand what He is doing.”
BUT I DO KNOW JESUS.  Yes, I do too.  And the Bible tells me time and time again that to know Jesus is to know God.
“Whoever believes in me, believes not in me but in him who sent me.  And whoever sees me sees him who sent me.”  John 12:45 (ESV)

”He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation.”  Colossians 1:15 (ESV)

”He is the radiance of the glory of God and the exact imprint of his nature, and he upholds the universe by the word of his power…”  Hebrews 1:3 (ESV)
Does that answer all my why questions or ease all my doubts?  Not necessarily.  I have to accept that some of what happens in this messy world may never be understood on this side of eternity.  However, having a relationship with Jesus who walked this earth and knew what it was like to be human and experience pain, loss, rejection, and even doubt does give me comfort.  It also reminds me that when God sees me…He sees Jesus who is with me.  I am not alone.

I’m not sure if you know or understand God any better than I do, but my sincere hope is that you know His son, Jesus.  He is the only way we can try to understand and begin to know the heart of God.  That is the truth I will cling to when I doubt, fear, and want to lose hope


About Carla

Carla Gasser is a writer, blogger, speaker, and Bible study teacher. She has four very active children and one very patient husband! She is imperfect and insecure. She is humbled daily by her children. She fails more often than she succeeds and struggles to follow Christ instead of leading the way herself. Her passion is for reaching out to women, in whatever season of life, to encourage them on their journey of following Christ with faith, hope and abandon. She would love to meet you At the Crossroads! You can also connect with her online at Parallel Ministries.