First off I want to say a great big THANK YOU to all the tremendous support and wonderful feedback for our Love and Marriage series!! Seriously, you guys are great! Thank you very much!
I used to be somewhat insensitive and selfish. My needs being met seemed more important than those of my husband. After all, I had suffered much abuse and neglect throughout my childhood years as well as into young adulthood, and my husband was well aware of this and very sympathetic. He had come from a stable home with parents and siblings who loved him and truthfully, somewhat doted on him.It was not until more recently, following years of marriage, I had an occasion to hear his heart. I sat and listened; and what I heard broke my heart. Throughout those years, all the support my husband had given me on numerous occasions, had been met only by more great expectations from me. And the many compromises he had made for me had never really touched my heart; but instead had merely become expected.I had thought my husband to be a rock, and as I sat and watched the tears fall down his face that day; and learned of the hurt I had caused him from my insensitivity and selfishness, I vowed never again to think only of myself, but to be sensitive to his needs and wants. Since that day, I have changed. No, I am not perfect, but I do place vast importance on his desires; his wishes. I find I now want to hear his heart and I have gotten to know him better because of this. I mean, truly know him, and our relationship is now stronger than I ever thought it could be. – Judi
The main thing God has shown me in marriage is that it’s not about me. God’s design for marriage is that we become holy, Christ-like. Marriage provides a great setting for that! Committing to ONE person for life is a great challenge that is not portrayed honestly in Hollywood. As a young girl, I grew up with the Cinderella tale of Prince Charming and all the rest. Having been married now for 35 years, I see what a disservice that fairy tale does to both women and men. Authentic love is only possible if God is in the equation. And it can only grow in an environment of humility. So, marriage is a sacred union that calls two people to humbly seek God’s will in how to best love each other, and then bring that witness to the world. It’s a huge, serious endeavor, and I wish society would value its meaning and design. Good marriages can change the world. 🙂 Marianne B. Ball
Thanks for inviting me to participate in the upcoming series by providing a thought or two on the role of Women in Christian Marriage. As a divorce statistic I will admit that hind-sight is definitely 20/20 vision. My walk with God when my husband and I were first separated was not as it is now. I was petulant, stubborn, distrustful and wanted to have everything my own way. I was always right in everything, whereas my poor ex-husband was always wrong. I never supported him as I should or allowed him to play the role ordained for him by God i.e. to be the man and leader of our little household of three (we have a son together). This brings to bear the topic of wives ‘submitting’ to husbands. I remember a dear Christian friend declaring at my bridal shower: “If there was one thing I want Gale to know, is that she will need to learn how to submit in her marriage; this is key!” Unfortunately, I laughed off her advise and didn’t take it to heart until it was too late. As things in my marriage went from bad to worse, I let the devil take control of my mind and body. I used profanity, threw tantrums, stalked my ex-husband and generally behaved as he described me: very un-Christian-like. As he told me during one of our arguments: “How can you claim to be a Christian woman, reading your bible every day and yet behave in this way?”To anyone getting married a word or two of advice. Marriage is not easy but it is the most beautiful gift God has given two human beings. Marriage is about leaving ‘you’ behind (in terms of thinking self, self, self) and moving to ‘we’ as the journey begins together. For us women, it’s about learning to release some of the independence we fought so hard to achieve when we were single so that our spouses can blossom into the leaders God made them to be. And most important of all, always remember that the family that prays together does indeed stay together.Wishing those that are married and those that are yet to be God’s awesome love and blessings. Gale
The best thing my husband and I learned after a number a years of marriage was, we both wanted the same thing but went about getting it differently. When we accepted this of each other, things became much smoother.-Kim
One of the most important things I have learned about marriage is that it does take work BUT there is so much joy in the work. At the end of the day you know that it is all for a purpose: to bring you closer to one another and to discover how to better glorify the Lord in your marriage. It makes arguing and forgiving easier and more purposeful. You can discuss things openly and honestly and know that your husband/wife will still be by your side no matter what. Thanks for including me 🙂-Katelyn at Daily Renewed
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