Hi y’all! My name is Rebecca. Last year I wrote a guest post here entitled, “The Single Journey” and have been overwhelmed by the gracious response and support from this lovely community. It has been a joy to connect with so many others through that post and this community. I am honored to share again today with y’all a subject that is close and dear to my heart as a “follow up” to that post. I hope and pray that is an encouragement to those who are single or just those who have unanswered prayer requests. This topic is on the hope that is found in waiting- specifically the hope of waiting as a single gal.
On my blog I have mentioned that I had the privilege of teaching a senior girls Bible class for a couple of years at the Christian school where I used to work. During the week of Valentine’s Day I always would spend a couple of days on a subject close to my heart, the subject of relationships. While some subjects were “easier” to teach for me (choosing a college, finances, etc.) this theme cut right to the core of my constant surrendering point to our Lord.
To be frank, I spend countless hours praying for my future husband, but several years ago I felt that I was reminding myself of some of the same points that I was sharing with the girls. The pain of singleness can test the faith of the 18 year old and a 33 year old alike. I want and desire to find someone who loves God more than then they love me. THAT is a man that I can joyfully submit to. I want and desire to NEVER settle for less than God’s best for me! Trusting that HE knows better than I do- I can confidently wait with expectation that my Heavenly Father, the one who loves me more than life, has the BEST for me.
With this hope I can confidently wait. Wait until God’s time. NOT my own. I want and desire to know how to guard my heart but yet lovingly embrace those that God has put in my path to love. I want to guard my heart in a way that only the one that the Lord has for me will know the intimate treasures of my heart, but not guard it in a way that keeps me locked up. I desire to wait… to remain pure… to keep the promises that I made to God and myself when I was 14 years old because scripture does show that obedience does bring blessing.
As twenty years have come and gone since I made those promises to God and myself, I choose to continue to trust Him for His best. I choose to continue to pray daily for my future husband. I choose to continue to fast for him once a week. I choose to continue to write him love letters every week with prayers for him and thoughts for the future. And as I joyfully live each day, I choose to remain confidently hopeful that the Lord’s blessings are right around the corner. I choose to trust in the one who loves me more than life.
Through laughter, straight talk, and beautiful words that came from God alone that week of ministry was one of the sweetest ministry weeks of my entire teaching career. The Lord opened up conversations and thought provoking times of prayer and reflection that was obviously all about HIM. Nothing I could have done could have arranged for such a week. The Lord truly blessed and answered prayers beyond my imagination and my faith was once again encouraged to trust in the future that the Lord has in store.
Telling someone to remain hope and wait for God’s best at 18 years old is as complicated as telling someone at 34, or any age the same thing. The waiting gets harder the older you are. The temptation to settle gets greater. The temptation to manipulate and orchestrate gets worse. I find that I have to run often back to the Lord and His truth as I beg of the Lord to bring my husband to me. I have learned that waiting is the hardest anguish. Waiting is the difficult anguish of my deepest longing and desire (to be a wife and mom) being unfulfilled and the knowing of the bewilderment of unanswered prayer. In their book, “Captivating”, John and Staci Eldridge have a beautiful quote regarding the subject of waiting:
“Living in true beauty can require much waiting , much time, and much tenacity of spirit. We must CONSTANTLY direct our gazes toward the face of God, even in the presence of longing and sorrow. It is in the waiting that our hearts are enlarged. The waiting does not diminish us….God does not always rescue us out of a painful season. He is after something so much more than our happiness. Much more substantive than our health. He is restoring us and growing us in an eternal weight of glory.”
In the unanswered prayer days I have also learned that God is in each day. I have found deep peace in showing up in hope each day. I won’t lie to you- it is extremely painful and messy, but take heart sweet friends because God is truly in the waiting (psalm 62:5, 68:19). In the years since I taught I have had to learn a whole new way to surrender to the Lord as I have had to give up my teaching career, moved back in with my parents, and lost the life that I knew due to health issues. My dreams of marriage and being a mom seem even farther away then they did a year ago.
But sweet friends, as I surrender my hopes and dreams each day, the Lord grants me the strength and courage to face another day joyfully as I wait. It is in HIS strength and courage that I find it doesn’t matter what day {or week} it is or how impossible circumstances look. He knows the desires of my heart and He PROMISES to answer. That is where I rest today and that is enough for today.
I trust that the Lord is still in control and is going to provide beyond my wildest dreams and imaginations. (Romans 15:13) I know and am confident that I will confidently rejoice with scripture that states, “I asked the Lord to give me this boy and He has GRANTED my request!” (I Samuel 1:27) Hold on friend and believe in these verses. If you are struggling with unanswered prayer and deep longings of marriage (or other things) my prayer for you friends is to rest in the tender mercy of the Lord. You are not forgotten sweet friends, the Lord sees you and is close to the brokenhearted.
“May He give you the desire of your heart and make all of your plans succeed. May we shout for joy over your victory and lift up our banners in the name of our God.” (Psalm 20:4-5)
About Rebecca
Rebecca VanDeMark is a writer, speaker, and blogger who loves Jesus, life, and the miracle of hope. She owns a handmade company, December Caravan, which donates a portion of all of its proceeds to charity and is the founder of SEEN Gathering, a Christian ministry designed to encourage those who struggle with Chronic Illness and Pain. Rebecca loves delighting in the beauty of ordinary each day as she fights Advanced Lyme Disease and Cancer. She can be found at her personal website or her blog and welcomes emails at: [email protected].
