There is a saying, “If momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.” Though we are not all mommas, I think the statement may be applied to most woman. Solomon – at least we think it was Solomon, it might have been some other very wise man – went so far as to say “a quarrelsome wife (one who is NOT happy) is like a constant dripping.” (Proverbs 19:13, NIV) Can you think of anything more annoying than a constant drip… drip… drip… that you cannot stop? It can drive a person, or apparently a husband, insane!
Solomon, or the very wise man, follows this up with a few other statements about difficult wives like, “it is better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.” (Prov. 21:9) It is “better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife.” (Prov. 21:19) Trying to “restrain her (a quarrelsome wife) is like restraining the wind.” (Prov. 27:16)
Hmm… I feel kind of bad now for picking a fight with my husband last night.
There is no doubt that we, as women, are quite powerful. We have tremendous influence over the attitude and atmosphere of our homes. Whether you work in an office 40+ hours a week or stay at home 30+ hours a day (trust me the days really feel that long when you are trapped inside with young kids), your attitude, your perspective, and your temperament GREATLY impacts your home and all who live in it. Don’t underestimate the power you have.
There is a reason that the old Levitical Law dictated that a man who was recently married must not be called to war or given any other duty other than making his wife happy for the first year of their marriage, really it says that! (Deut. 24:5)
I am not suggesting for a moment that your marriage should be all about you or that your happiness is the most important thing. My point is our attitudes have tremendous influence on our homes. And we will either impact it negatively or positively. The catch is, it is YOU who is in charge of your attitude, not your husband. Proverbs is brutally honest about how our negative attitudes impact our homes. So what happens when we choose positive attitudes, instead of dwelling in the negative? You begin to see your true power.
We, as women, have the power to encourage. It is a tough world out there and our men work hard. They need to know they have someone in their corner. Genesis 2:24 commands, “…they will become one flesh.” You, my friend, are one with your husband and YOU should be his biggest cheerleader. His biggest encourager. “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up…” 1 Thess 5:11.
We have the power of prayer. I can not stress enough the importance of praying for your husband. Pray for his job, his health, his faith. Pray his priorities would be clear and in line with God and that he would be kept free from temptation. Pray for him when everything is going great and pray even harder when it’s not. When things are rough between you two that is when you need to pray the hardest, not for him to change (really, that rarely works) but that you could come together again, understand each other, seek God first and love each other through your quirks. Prayer is one of the most powerful tools we have, use it. Use it often and use it well. “Be joyful always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances…” 1 Thess 5:16-18
You have the power of fostering gratitude in your home. Model positive thoughts and kind words. Look for the silver lining in the tough situations, meet negativity with words of gratefulness and thanksgiving. “Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.” Proverbs 16:24
But don’t forget that actions speak louder than words. You have the power to do you positive things in your home. Your actions, all those things you do, must also demonstrate encouragement, support and gratitude. Your actions must match the words that you say. “Each one should test his own actions.” Galatians 6:4
As wives, we are powerful people. Our attitudes and temperaments will either send our husbands onto a corner of the roof or make their home their favorite place to be. We control the atmosphere of our home. We have the power to make it a place of love and encouragement, prayer and gratitude, kind words and actions. The power, sweet girl, is yours!
Want to find out more about the power you have in your marriage? Join us for a live Hang Out on Air on February 16