Abandoning Jealousy, Adopting Love

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We are Daughters of Zion, and we must consume scripture as it unveils promises that we should utilize as we pursue that title.  I am 17 years old, and have recently felt the emotion of jealousy.  In fact, I feel it every day.  Every morning, as I look in the mirror and go out into the world, I must choose to abandon jealous thoughts and adopt heavenly promises.  This is most definitely an action of the heart, as most spiritually connected decisions are.  As every other women likewise undergoes, the enemy attacks me throughout my day, constantly reminding me that I am worthless.  I hear lies such as…

You are not special, you are not pretty enough, and you will never reach earthly standards.  You will never have flawless skin, you will never be the perfect weight, and you will never have soft glowing hair that never gets split ends, and grows 2 inches a day.

All of these statements produce the feeling of jealousy.  Jealousy, for me, consists of self-loathing, an angry knotted feeling in my stomach, and the desire to be an introvert.  As a self-conscious, sensitive, human, I am constantly charged with these phrases. With my insecurities, and sinful, jealous heart I have separated myself from an incredible truth that is imbedded in a successful relationship with Christ.

Outward Beauty and Jealousy

Jealousy can peek through many different situations that we encounter as women.  The first, and among the most common, is jealousy between outward beauty.  We compare one another, producing evil thoughts that dampen, and sometimes even soak our spiritual lives.  If we are honest here, the first time you meet another women your initial thought is either, “Wow, she is so beautiful and I am so ugly, I don’t like her.” or , “ Well, she isn’t very attractive, and I am prettier than her, so I am going to like her and become friends so I can look better.” Unfortunately this is too often the truth, but it’s not biblical, or spiritually based in any way.  As Godly women we strive for purity, in our hearts, minds, and tongues. 1 Peter 3:3-4 reads, “Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.” My favorite part of this verse is that the Lord reveals that He values the “beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit”. I love this, because I have seen the beauty in women that have a gentle and quiet spirit, and I believe these attributes are produced by a pure heart.  In fact my mentor Kolbi is a fine example of this woman.  Kolbi has a spirit that the Lord has blessed her with that highlights the attribute of a good listener. Alongside Kolbi’s beautiful outward appearance her spirit enhances her beauty to a level that can only be achieved by Christ’s work inside of her.

Jealousy Within Relationships

Another experience with jealousy that all women tend to experience is jealousy within relationships. Whether that be with a friend, a child, a husband, or a boyfriend we all tend to experience a jealous heart at one time or another. I have been with my first boyfriend, Brandon, for six months. I take relationships seriously and place my heart for the Lord as the foundation for the development and growth of every bond I make.  Brandon and I have had several discussions on jealousy and how to avoid and confine any jealous notions that may arise in our hearts.  There have been several situations in which I have felt jealous, whether it be with another young Christian lady, a conversation not had with me, or a moment we were not able to share.  One situation in which I felt this way was when I noticed another beautiful Christian young lady  who shared similar activities and attributes with Brandon.  Brandon and I have very different strengths and often times I disappoint myself trying to live up to his.  Brandon is great at photography, tennis, math, and is in ROTC. This young woman is skilled at several of these as well and on top of that has a faith in the Lord and is beyond gorgeous.  I was worried that because I wasn’t good at any of those things (and in my mind much less beautiful than this young lady) that it wouldn’t be long before Brandon noticed how amazing this other girl was. Many other important people in my life agreed, and told me that she would be a good match for him, which made the situation worse.  I prayed about these feelings I was having and decided I needed to tell Brandon how I felt.  After I spoke with him on the issue, it was clear that I was being attacked by then enemy, I had nothing to worry about.  He loved me for me and reassured me that what we need to know that we are secure and serious about relationships. I have learned that jealousy and trust are very closely related. I believe that in order to love someone, you must trust them as well.  Just as we love the Lord, and he loves us, we must trust Him with our lives to guide, and direct our paths as we live to glorify Him. We should be reflecting this demonstration in our relationships. I place my trust in Jesus, and therefore trust that He will protect both Brandon’s and my heart and thoughts from anything that may expose jealousy.

God and Jealousy

In Deuteronomy 5:9 the Lord professes that, “You must not bow down to them or worship them, for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God who will not tolerate your affection for any other gods. I lay the sins of the parents upon their children; the entire family is affected–even children in the third and fourth generations of those who reject me.”   We know our God is jealous, but what we must see is why and what he is jealous for. This can often be a difficult concept to grasp, because if our God is love, and love is not jealous then how can this be. While I searched my heart and prayed for an answer, I continually asked spiritual brothers and sisters why this was so.  I have concluded that God is jealous for us, He is jealous to love us.  This is not humanly possible. We cannot have any form of jealousy that has only the intention to ultimately love the person.  His Jealousy is beautiful, while ours is destructive. His Jealousy is blossomed out of the love he has for his children and it’s the only form of jealousy that can be considered righteous. We will never be able to obtain such a characteristic.  The only way we can revise our sinful and jealous nature is to use our love in replacement of our harsh feelings.

I am sure you have heard of these crazy detox diets that women are going on every day. According to an article published by Science daily titled Detox Diet, the definition of the regimen reads “A detox diet is a dietary regimen involving a change in consumption habits in an attempt to detoxify the body by removal of toxins or other contaminants.” This idea is relevant to so many different sinful habits we humans develop, and maintain. What if, not that its humanly possible, but what if we as Daughters of Zion changed the consumption habit we have towards  jealousy , in attempt to detoxify our body of that sin, and produce the ability to remove other sinful manners that are lurking in our hearts. Wow, how advanced would the kingdom become if, as Daughters of the upmost Holy Lord, we looked at our sisters with eyes that saw the beauty of their souls. I believe that the Lord could use us in mighty ways to bring more women to the light.

Wherever you are my dear sister, and whatever battle you are currently fighting will you end in prayer with me as we strive to be beautiful and pure at heart Christian women.

Dear God, Thank you for your word, for it is overflowing with wisdom and truth. Thank you for setting an example for us as women to live with a gentle and quiet Spirit. We bask in the purity that you have provided through you’re glorious Son’s death on the cross, bringing rebirth to our souls. We ask for strength as we face a world that is against us with a mighty God that is for us. Lord, I pray for my sisters as we enter every day in battle with the enemy, that we will remember your sovereignty and that we will commemorate the truth that we are worthy and treasured. Lord, help us to destroy the jealousy that eradicates our hearts, and replace it with your perfect love. I do this for you Lord, and you alone.
In your powerful name,

Works Cited

“Detox Diet.” ScienceDaily. ScienceDaily, n.d. Web. 10 June 2014.

“Bible Gateway.” BibleGateway.com: A Searchable Online Bible in over 100 Versions and 50 Languages. N.p., n.d. Web. 13 June 2014.

Meet Lexi


BCW Guest Writer, Lexi LucasHi I am Lexi Lucas, daughter of the Prince of Peace and Kingdom worker. I am currently 17 years old, and was born and raised in Prescott, Arizona. I attended a college prep high school, and was a junior there until January of this year, when I took a leap of faith. I felt a strong call to missions and began experiencing encounters with Jesus as he persuaded my heart to pursue him. I transferred to online school, and began an internship at my church to gain experience in ministry. I worked hard to get ahead in school, and will be completed with high school in December of 2014. This summer I will be in Zambia, Africa for 2 weeks in fellowship with the Sara Rose Foundation. In the next year to come, I am letting God open doors and opportunities for a long term trip. 2 months ago, I began blogging, and have used it as a tool to worship! I would love for you to follow along with my blog at  Upon My Heart.