On my blog, I try to stop and ponder how my messy, imperfect and ordinary life journey and my extraordinary faith intersect.
I try to see God working in routine everyday events and connect those to what He may want to teach me.
Last summer I had the wonderful opportunity to take two very different trips.
The first trip was to a small island south of Virginia Beach and included both my immediate and extended family (13 of us together in one big house!). It was an idyllic beach vacation with bright sun, fresh ocean air, and delicious seafood for dinner every night.
Relaxing. Unhurried. Calm.
Long walks on the beach, riding the foam-capped waves and lounging with a book by the pool.
Then about a week later, my daughter and I took a trip with her dance studio to New York City. Think Broadway, Times Square, and Radio City Music Hall.
Exciting. Fast-paced. Fun.
Bright lights at midnight, feeling the music and dance of a Broadway show and eating cannolis and gelato in Little Italy.
Two very different worlds. Two extremes. Two ends of the spectrum.
But I loved and appreciated both.
When I returned home to my life in suburban Ohio, I realized that I live somewhere in the middle of these two places. (Both literally and figuratively!)
And I began to ponder what that means for me: living in the middle.
What does this middle look and feel like?
Life in the Middle Zone
As a mom, I am in the middle of raising my children. Two are away at college and two are teenagers at home requiring my constant time and attention. I am in the middle of learning to let the older ones go and still being a hands-on mom to those who need me to be present daily.
As a wife, I am in the middle (hopefully!) of my married life. My husband and I just celebrated 26 years together. For those years we have been building our home, our family, and our careers together. We are still in the middle of that journey…moving closer to being empty nesters, but not quite there yet.
As a writer, speaker, and blogger I definitely feel like I am in the middle. Because of my commitment and desire to be a full-time wife and mother, I am not able to work full-time for my ministry. I also work a lot from home which definitely places me smack dab in the middle…the middle of doing laundry, carpooling, cooking, cleaning, and running errands! I know there is more I can do and that God has for me, but I need to recognize where I am on this path at this moment.
And as a 47-year-old woman, you can definitely describe me as in the middle! Middle-aged is what they call it, right? Yes, I am free from some of the self-consciousness and immaturity of my youth, but now I must deal with who I am and who I still want to be. I am in the middle of the journey of life.
Being in the middle can be frustrating, unsettling, and full of insecurity.
But is being in the middle such a bad place to be?
Can I be content in the middle or am I constantly longing for the calm or the excitement?
Can I embrace the middle and the mixed bag that it offers?
Do I dare to believe that God has some important things to teach me here in the middle?
I have told you before that I do not believe in coincidences…just God ordained appointments.
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Finding the Miracle of the Middle
As I was thinking about this post and scribbling my thoughts in my journal, a friend sent me a chapter from a book she has been reading: THE MIRACLE IN THE MIDDLE: Finding God’s Voice in the Void
Hmmmm….do you think God might be trying to tell me something about this?
I read the chapter she sent me, loved it, and promptly ordered a copy of the book for myself.
The author, Charlotte Gambill, speaks my language because she describes life a journey and mentions the word “crossroads” several times (you haven’t heard those descriptions anywhere before, have you?).
Gambill confronts the question we often ask ourselves when we are stuck in the middle, like little kids in the backseat of long car ride: ARE WE THERE YET?
Yes, I have asked those questions too as I live, breathe, work, serve, and love in the middle:
Am I there yet?
Is this all there is?
Is there something more for me?
What is my destination and how do I get there?
Then a new thought occurred to me…standing AT THE CROSSROADS is really like being in the middle. (I know I’m pretty quick, aren’t I?)
And it’s okay.
The middle is not so bad.
It is a place of growth, wisdom, and adventure.
A place of highs and lows. Failures and successes.
I don’t think I can describe it any better than Gambill does in the first chapter of her book:
“In the middle are the many and varied stories of adventure–lessons we’ll learn and tales of trial we’ll face. The bookends of beginnings and endings provide a sense of stability to these stories your middle will cause you to write.
Though the pages of process in the middle are what we would most like to skip, without them, our journeys would have no real content…
The middle doesn’t offer the excitement of new beginnings or the joy found in endings. The middle is full of reality checkpoints where we realize the journey we had envisaged is unlike the journey we’ve actually experienced.”
~The Miracle in the Middle (p. 15)
Do you find yourself in the middle? At the crossroads? Would you consider meeting me here and embracing it?
I would love to hear about your “middles” as we walk this faith journey together. Please visit my website www.carlagasser.com. We can encourage each other as we connect our faith and our lives!