How To Handle Self-Love As A Christian

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Ahh, Self – Love.

As women, it can be a tricky thing to navigate well.

There is no shortage of advice in the world on how we should handle self-love.

“You need to love yourself first before you can truly love others” Unknown 

“Love yourself first, and everything else falls into line” Lucille Ball

Often today we’re told we need to love ourselves more.


That self-love is the key to our happiness.

But is it really?

How are we supposed to handle self-love as a Christian??

Before I was a believer, I wavered between two extremes on the self-love scale.

#1 I was so insecure I secretly wanted to believe what they were saying was true- but couldn’t quite “get it.”

#2 I was content enough with my circumstances (for the moment) that I ran from the self-love epidemic writing it off as ‘not for me’.

As Christians, we need to seek wisdom on the topic of self-love. It’s important we run it through the word of God.

Self-Love and God’s Love

*A quick clarification on the topic of Self Love. Self-Love is not the same as Self Care. God wants us to care for our minds, souls, and bodies in a way that honors Him. He created us and wants His best for us in those areas. He is for our Self Care. I know I, and many women need to be reminded of that! So no putting off the Self Care, Ok?*

Let’s dig into to what Self Love is based on.

Self-Love is based on our feelings.

Self-Love is based on our thoughts about ourselves.

Self-Love is based on our circumstances.

And Self-Love is based on our relationships with others.

Self-Love focuses on us and our temporary circumstances. It’s dependent on how we feel that day or week, what we have (things or relationships) or what we do. It is ever-changing and provides no lasting satisfaction.

Instead, God offers something better!

He offers us, Foundational Love! His Love is not based on how we feel. It is not dependent on our works or what we do. It is based on Him and what He did for us. 1 John 4:10 This is real love – not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins.

He offers us, Everlasting Love! His love is forever. He is drawing us to Himself. Jeremiah 31:3 Long ago the Lord said to Israel: I have loved you, my people, with an everlasting love. With unfailing love, I have drawn you to myself.

He takes the focus off of us and shows us how to Love others! Mark 12:31 says The second is this: Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these. We already love ourselves to some degree no matter how insecure we may feel. Think of how often we think of ourselves!

I am so ______

If I were only _____

I wonder if they think I am ______

First, those are condemning thoughts God disagrees with (He thinks good thoughts towards you), but it’s also thinking of yourself first! We often put our will and our way above God’s will and loving others. His love reminds us to put others first. To esteem or build others up. To love others with His Love as often more than we think of ourselves!

How do we choose to handle Self-Love as a Christian?

With the Greatest Commandment: and you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. Mark 12:30

Let’s make the choice to Love God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength. As a result, we won’t need Self-Love or Self-Esteem. When we choose to believe the truths He says about us, we will have Christ-Esteem that builds us up and flows from the inside out. Therefore we will cling to the truth of how much He truly Loves us! And yes, that’s so much that He gave His only Son to die for us so that we can spend eternity with Him!

Opposite of Self-Love, what an amazing Selfless Love that is!

Let’s keep our focus on God’s Character and His Love for us. I’ve created 30 printable Scripture Cards for you to print out and review when you start to struggle with self-love this month!

Join our Freebies Hub get your Scripture Cards and full access to resources that will build you up and help you see who you are through God’s eyes!

What about the topic of self- love vs. God’s love is a struggle for You?

Leave a comment below. I would love to pray for you!

Talk to you soon,


O Lord, You have pleaded the case for my soul;

You have redeemed my life.

Lamentations 3:58