I am a chronic people pleaser and introvert. Life experiences have taught me the necessity of learning how to set healthy boundaries, and I unapologetically admit, it has been quite challenging. The difficulty comes from trying to balance kindness, goodness, and gentleness with saying no, articulating my needs and speaking up for myself when I feel wronged.
“Just let it go” was not a cliche’ on my journey to adulthood, it is a phrase that comes as natural as saying y’all instead of you all. For years, I let things go without any expression of concern, even in situations where I felt uneasy. “Let it go” was my cop-out for “I’m afraid to, or I don’t want to deal with this conflict in my life.”
I thought this was how good Christian girls–women, behaved.
I have learned that being a docile doormat is not synonymous with being a Godly woman and it is better to develop the courage to express concern and state your needs versus being resentful later.
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The Spirit lives in us, so our natural bent is to lend a helping hand, be cooperative, and practice forgiveness. However, Matthew 7:6 advises us to avoid giving dogs what is sacred and warns us about throwing our pearls to pigs, or they may trample them under their feet and turn and tear us to pieces.
We must take care that we do not confuse love, joy, and peace with accepting poor treatment because it is standard, comfortable or conflict-free.
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Real relationships cannot exist without the presence of and respect for healthy boundaries. When you draw a line in the sand and take a step backward every time someone crosses it, you may end up feeling unheard and unvalued, which can lead to feelings of insecurity and low self-worth.
Give yourself permission to have a voice. You matter. Your needs and concerns are important. Say no to things that fail to honor your worth or make you feel less than who you are. Say yes to what truly brings you peace and joy.
